CHANGING THE CONVERSATION IN YOUR HEAD

There is at least one conversation you will have each day. It’s the one inside your head. So, what have you been saying to yourself lately?

Are you gripped by persistent, negative thinking?

If you are bombarded with negative thoughts, you did not get that way overnight. A lifetime of fear, shame, and other harmful emotions can lead to persistent, negative thinking.

Here are just a few examples of what could be fueling your negative thinking.

  1. You have unresolved anger, shame, and other harmful emotions.
  2. You are too consumed with what others are doing that may not concern you.
  3. You are in an abusive relationship.
  4. You Frequently rehash your past mistakes and wrong decisions.
  5. You feel you are always right.

Get to positive thinking by flipping the switch!

Once I was seeing a therapist who taught me how to turn off my negative thinking and ruminating. She encouraged me to “flip the switch.”

Here is how it works.

  1. When you become lost in negative thinking, turn off the negativity by flipping an imaginary switch in your mind.  You can literally make the gesture with your finger as if reaching up to flip off a light switch. Eventually, you will not have to use that motion. Flipping the switch will become a mental habit.
  2. After turning off the negative thought, replace it with a loving, positive thought: the ocean, a newborn baby, a song, or a happy memory. You can also think of a loving word or phrase to silently replace the negative thoughts. Some examples are love, Jesus, or “It’s a blessed day.”
  3. Reinforce your habit of replacing negative thoughts by using the same loving thought or words each time.
  4. Keep calm when you recognize the reoccurrence of negative thinking. It’s great that you are now becoming aware of it.
  5. As soon as you become aware of your negative thoughts or conversation, start the process of flipping the switch over again. There is no limit to how often you should do it.

You will never be free of negative thoughts. This is fine. You can, however, be free of the bondage of negative thinking. It’s also important to remember that some negative thoughts can help you by warning you of pending danger.

After 10 plus years of practicing this and other cognitive behavior techniques, my emotional IQ has skyrocketed! I am more productive in my work. I feel less intimidated. I no longer try to control everyone else. I sleep much better. This all began when I discovered how to change the conversation in my head.

One word of caution: this technique is not for you if you suffer with any kind of mental illness.  Before trying this exercise, you should get the approval of your doctor or therapist.

Question: Can you share a technique that helps you stop negative thinking? You can leave a comment by clicking here.

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4 thoughts on “CHANGING THE CONVERSATION IN YOUR HEAD

  1. Hello,
    Thank you Selma Dean Team for reaching out and providing insight into our current struggle to remain positive in world full of political uncertainties and capitalism. We face many challenges daily that affect our activities of daily living and ultimately our health and well being. One technique I use to help keep me positive and motivated in my multi-tasking along the day is praising God “out loud” in my head. I literally shout inside my head (silently) praising God and drowning out any negative thoughts. Foe example, I repeat ” thank you Father God in Heaven in Jesus name” over and over until I am no longer focused on the problem; my focus is shifted to God?????

    • Verlin. Thank you for your comment. I love the “literal shout!” Thanks for sharing with us how to drown out those negative thoughts. God bless & keep you.
      Love you!
      Selma

  2. This is a great post! It ties in the storms in our lives with real life storms. I was able to get out of a toxic relationship & seek help from family & with my faith & beliefs. I am now at peace & happy & moving forward with life. Thanks for this inspiring & encouraging information.